X-mas carol

Sleigh bells ring
are you listening?
in all lands
the faithful whingeing

A deplorable sight
A religious fright
The Godly think
We just don't understand

Giving gifts
To each other
Don't need Gods
Or hellfire

The Atheists say
we'll do it our way
We just find the preaching pointless
Dull and bland

Some of us will eat until were bursting
Others just hang out with those they love
Few of us waste time in pointless praying
'Cause we have a life to live so just shut up!

One by one they conspire
They'd have us all
On a pyre
We don't believe
In man made gods
Anymore than chocolate frogs
Oh for a godless winter wonderland

I'm a rockstar!

I went to see the great Alica Cooper a few days ago and had a brilliant time. It's not the first time I have seen him live but he never fails to entertain. Where else does the singer get decapitated before rising form the dead only to be hanged? All this theatre and he sings amazing catchy dark and political songs to boot!

After the show (and a LOT of Jack Daniels) my friend and I decided were were too hyper to go home so we went to a local club where they were holding a Punk-Rock Karaoke night with a live band! With my drink and rock addled brain I decided 'what the Hell' and got up to sing. I should know better really. I did try to sing at the same club night a couple of years ago and failed miserably. The set up isn't what most are used to. No screen just a laminated copy of the lyrics, your on a real stage with a real band (who I might add are bloody brilliant!) with a couple of hundred sweaty drunk and over excited rockers staring at you willing you to be entertaining (by being awful).

I was awful!

The band started and I suddenly realised that a live band is very loud up close and I realised that to be heard even with a microphone I would have to be very loud indeed. I bottled it and in my cowardice pretty much mimed the whole song (by Hole) and skulked off stage in acute shame.

This time was oh so different!

I got on the stage dimly remembering my last horrific experience and decided there and then that even if I was out of tune I would belt out my number (sweet Child of mine by GnR) at top volume. And I am so glad I did! As soon as I heard my voice ringing out clearly above the (not quiet) band I knew I had nailed it. I was in tune I knew the song well and had a brilliant and exhilarating 3 minutes! I even got the high long notes. OK I'm not Axl Rose but for a woman with no singing training and a skinful of JD I didn't sound bad at all. The man who runs the club night looked shocked, I think he was expecting a comical cock up, then grinned slapped me on the back and told me bloody well done as I clambered off the stage. And people clapped some even cheered! I loved it. Now I know why people want to be rock stars! Another woman (apparently a real singer) did the same song later in the evening (or was it morning by then?) and was good but I have decided I was better as I was louder. Others told me so as well. And all arrogance aside I think they were telling the truth. Don't get me wrong I'm not going to sign up for x-factor but by Crikey and all that is unholy what a brilliant, euphoric and surreal experience I had that night.

I'm so going to have another go next month!

Winter blues

I hate winter. It's cold wet and windy and does absolutely nothing for my hair or skin. Summer is much nicer warm dry(ish) and it's not bloody dark when you leave the house for work and when you leave the office to go home! I always start to feel a little weird this time of year. I have always loathed the whole never seeing daylight thing and to have to do it for half the year is definitely not the canines spherical objects.

I have heard of that condition known as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) could be a bit of a 'Yuppie Flu' type thing but I have to admit I get crabby, moody and generally down at this time of year. Maybe that's why we invented a holiday season in the middle of it to lighten the mood? I do like X-Mas and New Year but not because it gives me a warm fuzzy glow of kindness and goodwill towards my fellow (wo)man. It's more the warm and fuzzy glow of the Bucks Fizz breakfast tipple and the Boxing day cherry brandy that does it for me.

That and the presents of course. Santa - I want a Wii Fit this year d'you hear?

Spooky goings on down South

It's almost that time of year when I get to actually blend in with everyone else. The only difference is that they are in fancy dress and I'm not!

Apparently everyone is going to dress up for Hallow e'en this Friday at work so should be a good excuse for a giggle. Should I go casual witch or the full vampire hmmmm...

Even better it's bonfire night next week so I also get to dress up and burn stuff and it's all legal woohoo!

I dress as a viking and walk in a local towns bonfire parade. We carry torches and blow up a Guy Fawkes at the end of the night before watching several thousand pounds worth of fireworks go up to the usual chorus of 'ooohs' and 'aaahs'. I love it.

Yes I know it's a bit close to religious for someone who calls herself an anti theist but that isn't why I do it. I don't care if Guy Fawkes was a Catholic who hates the Protestant Government. He was a terrorist who deserved punishment for his attempt to murder so many people. Yes we blow up a Pope as well (in effigy) but again I don't care about the religion part, it's all about freedom of speech for me. This particular Pope ordered the horrific burning of people in a country he didn't even live in because they spoke their minds and didn't agree with him. So we burn his effigy to make a point. Yes I know it's childish but I still love it and wouldn't change our weird little tradition for the world.

The end (of the week) is nigh

Well its all over for the working week and I'm knackered but looking forward to a night of drunkeness and debauchery (well some wine and a game of cards anyway).

I wanted to add since I was too busy at the time that I wrote a letter to our local paper last week and they actually printed it! It was in response to an article about the City I live in being called 'the most Godless City in Britain' (an idea which does not hugely displease me). Apparantly the Rev Archie Coates (I think thatwas his name) has decided to re-evangelise our City and solve all our social issues (drugs etc). Cheecky sod. Here's my letter

16 October 2009

In response to article ‘Most Godless city in Britain’ by Andy Chiles on Friday 16 October 2009

Apparently the Rev Coates has decided to fix Brighton and Hove’s social issues by ‘re-evangelising’ the City.

Does anyone else feel perturbed by the idea that in the 21st century this is felt to be required? His apparent assumption that ‘the most Godless City in Britain’ has problems caused simply by irreligion is disgusting. Lack of some kind of Deity in ones life does not cause people to become addicts or prostitutes and removing these people from a dangerous and harmful lifestyle will require rather more than an injection of faith based on an ancient text written by people with different social issues and agendas. The very idea that you can aid someone by this method is laughable since all it does is attempt to replace a difficult reality with an impossible fairy tale.

I also resent the assumption that most religious people are somehow better or at least more morally equipped than the non-believers. I am not a drug addict, I have never received an ASBO or had any trouble with the Police but I do not behave this way because I am afraid of an invisible beard in the sky who watches my every move. I behave this way because my own conscience and humanism inform me that it is the best course of action (or inaction).

Please also bear in mind that the Rev is using the oldest trick in the book (so to speak) by choosing the weak, helpless and hopeless for his ‘re-evangelising’ crusade. It is easier to convert these poor people than to attempt to convert those who are coping with reality using their highly evolved human brain and conscience. We all have problems and have a chance to overcome then (even if it’s not obviously so at the time) but replacing them with an escapist non-reality is at best pointless and at worst abhorrent.

I would also like to make the conjecture that Brighton owes it ‘vibrancy and life’ to the very fact that a good number of its citizens do not conform to a doctrine which prescribes a life of following the same rules, activities, prohibitions and dogma (as most religions seem to prefer). The Christian faith(s) in particular calls its followers ’sheep’ which pretty much sums up their attitude to their obedient, loyal and stultified flock.

Pretty good even if I say so myself. Vanity is one of my many and varied sins of which I am extremely proud. Wonder if I'll get an responses?

Debate in London

I have been mega busy so apologies for taking ages to update.

I went to a debate last night in Westminster and had a fantastic time especially since it was obvious that 'my side' completely trounced the others!

The motion was 'Catholicism is a force for good in the world' and speaking for the motion were Archbishop Onaiyekan (of Abuja, Nigeria) and Ann Widdecombe, speaking against were Christopher Hitchens and Stephen Fry. Needless to say I was rooting for Hitchens and Fry.

They all stated their argument in turn for and against and then the audience were invited to ask questions. Unfortunately (and this includes my side) many people seemed to misunderstand the term 'question' and used the time to preach and make statements that missed the point and wasted the time which could have be used to clarify the arguments for and against. The debaters then all made a closing statement.

I have to say of all the people speaking I didn't expect Stephen Fry to be the one to raise his voice but he did to Ann Widdecombe who bravely tried to make a good case but ultimately failed. The Bishop was completely useless giving excuses and stumbling over his case which was mostly that the Catholic Church is involved in charity so it must be good! Ann Widdecombe was more useful to her cause but still skirted the issue of condoms in African countries and even stated that they would not help at all even if the church did not condemn the use of such barrier contraceptives. Silly woman. For an educated erudite and intelligent woman she really has bought into the whole dogma of the church. She accused Hitchens of dwelling on the past as if history doesn't matter which pretty much sums up the state of the Catholic church. Of course it matters. How can she in all conscience be a member of an organisation which has routinely murdered, lied, stolen and abused children for so long?

She also disliked Hitchens' point that the Church despite it being none of their business are obsessed with sex and how it should (and should not) be performed. She countered by saying that Hitchen's himself was the one obsessed with such things which he admitted he was in the natural mammalian way of all of his kind, touche! I have to agree with Hitchens onthis as if the Church is not obsessed with sex as Ann Widdecmbe states, why does it have so many prohibitions around the subject? Its about power and she does not seem to know or care about it.

Anyway rant over. A good time was had and if you want to find out more about the event google it. The name of the organisation holding it is 'intelligence squared' and the debate was on Mon 19 Oct 2009. I thinks it's going to be aired on TV as well around the 7/8 November 2009.

tatty bye

I have been to Croatia!

Well that was rather brilliant!

In case you wondered I have been away for a week and I went to Dubrovnik in Croatia and wow what a place!

I kind of expected a grotty little town full of bomb holes but it was so much better than that. The Old part of the City is surrounded by a huge stone wall that goes right up to the sea (how they managed to build it I have no idea!) and the first thing we did was go up to walk around the walls. It was brilliant. Its a few kilometres around and took about 3 hours but by crikey what a view!

One side was mountains with scrubby bushes and rocks with the occasional building, very wild, impressive and rough in a beautiful kind of way and the other was the most stunning view of turquoise ocean (Adriatic) and fishing boats as far as you could see.

We also visited a nearby island called Lokrum (i think) which was a nature reserve and botanical garden. After a short trip on the mill pond like sea we landed in a little cove and began to trek around the paths laid through its woodland and cliff top areas. We saw so much wildlife (and not so wild) including peacocks (and hens), lizards, bats, swallows and the obligatory mosquitoes (definite proof there is no god if you ask me) and there were hundreds of species of plant and tree including massive cacti and eucalyptus.

At one point we found ourselves on the top of a sheer cliff which led to a lagoon known as the mini black sea due to its high salt content. We swam in it with the fishes all around us and yes you do float without trying!

After this we followed the path up an enormous and hugely steep hill to an old fort at the top with breathtaking views. A perfect visit was completed by a couple of local rums (yummy) at a cafe and the trip back on the boat.

Right-o more tomorrow can't describe it all at once or you will get bored!

Musings of a knackered person

I am officially knackered. I'm having the busiest week ever but do you know what? I Love it!

My last job (in a hospital) was busy but in a repetitive cycle of verbal abuse from patients, doctors and random crazies wandering in I found no real joy in my work but now I am back where I belong working admin for a decent Manager in a decent building for decent pay(ish). I forgot what this feels like!

Anyway enough showing off it won't last I know but at the moment I'm surfing the wave of euphoria that a new job and a new project produces.

I'm still knackered though.

I see wierd people

It's most definitely Autumn today isn't it? I woke up with the usual semi-suicidal Monday feeling and realised very quickly that it was BLOODY FREEZING! I had to wear a coat and I am feeling fat and hormonal so overall not the best start to the day.

But it got worse...

I have an admission. I smoke. Yes I know its unhealthy and I probably smell like stale smoke but there you go, I smoke.
I have a ciggie break in the morning usually around half ten and today was no exception. I left the building settled into a bench lit up and there I sat contemplating Life, the Universe and Everything until my weirdo turned up.

Yes I attract strange people. Why? No idea, maybe they see a kindred spirit or a good listener but either way they always. ALWAYS find me. This particular man has been lurking around our building for a few weeks and at least twice a week accosts me for cigarettes or a 'bit of a chat'. He generally sits on my bench smokes my cigarette (I know I shouldn't but he might get agitated if I don't give him one) and proceeds to explain how he is Schizophrenic, used to be a woman in another life, is racist but only in his head 'cos I know it's wrong' and (used?) to be an alcoholic.

Yes it's nerve racking and uncomfortable and no-one comes over to rescue me not a one despite the fact that it's usually the same fellow staff members smoking outside.

I do feel a bit sorry for him after all if he does have some kind of mental health issue it's not necessarily his fault but that doesn't make it less weird for me to be sitting smoking nodding and smiling in a (hopefully) friendly and non-provoking manner to a man who has told me repeatedly that the 'used to be violent'.

Maybe I should give up smoking

Jack Daniels and the epileptic

OK. So I emailed my partner all excited to tell him I started a blog as he suggested and waited for his fulsome praises and wonder at my literary mastery only to get the terse reply that I had made two typos. Is that it? And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high!

Anywho enough self pity. I had a great evening last night as an old friend called out of the blue asking if I wanted a drink after work, his shout, at a local pub. Of course I needed my arm twisting ever so slightly but being the generous creature I am accepted his invitation. So here I am just starting work with a Jack Daniels induced hangover and a feeling of general friendliness towards my fellow humans for their generosity. I love spontaneous meetings like that they always seem to be so much more fun than planned events.

I did of course get told off by him-at-home for drinking on a work night and skipping dinner but I tried to explain the urgency of the situation as I haven't seen this friend for months. He grumbled but seemed OK in the end. I did wonder if I would be given a lecture about the fact I have epilepsy and the drinking/not eating combo but he didn't go there.

I didn't mention that before did I? Well I have epilepsy, diagnosed when I was 15 (thus ending my attempt at GCSEs at School due to medication issues) which has plagued me ever since. I do seem to have enough periods of calm to get on with things mostly but it's a real pain in the proverbial the rest of the time.

I did manage to get some GCSEs in the end and then some A-Levels later and I do have a job but it has caused bouts of sickness which have really got in the way of complete normality. The worst times are the times when I have a fit at work or out and about as it tends to freak people out who haven't seen such a thing before. I suppose seeing a slightly overweight goth fall down then start dribbling and twitching can be an unusual experience but believe me I am usually more concerned than you! I do take medication but it hasn't been that successful in recent years. They have changed it many times and I have suffered many bouts of nasty side effects as a result but they best they have been able to manage so far is to lessen the frequency and severity of the fits which is nothing to sneeze at I suppose.

Anyway I'm sure you have better things to do than read about an epileptic wierdo bloggerso go and do them.

My first ever Blog

Well here I am finally sampling the delights of Blogdom. What am I supposed to write? How often? who will read it if anyone?

Well who cares really I have be informed by others that it's 'cathartic' or something to write down the personal trivia of your life for the world to see so I'm having a go.

I suppose I should start by explaining a bit about myself? I'm currently 28 and live in the UK and I'm female.

Not enough?

OK then, my interests are fairly normal I think with the occasional foray into wierd and a sprinkling of geeky (although not in the Computerish sense). Im a LARPer which means Live Action Role Play for the uninitiated, and no, its nothing to do with sex! It's more of a game of playacting for grownups with added violence and silly costumes. The group I LARP with are based on a Dungeons and Dragony type scenario with its very own countries currencies made up races and languages. Yes geek hell but a bloody good laugh!

I also like to read although my reading matter has been descibed as slightly mismatched by my partner who is far more at home with good old SciFi and the local paper. I skip from girly romantic/historical fiction to scientific essays and then on to modern philosophy although not always with ease. I like stories and read fiction constantly (I have been accused of escapism) but also love to learn and argue a point.

My current literary obsession is Richard Dawkins. I am a non-believer in all kinds of religion so when the God Delusion was released I lapped it up reaffirming all the things I (dont?) believe and findingout to my sheer joy that I AM NOT ALONE! I have been reading his other books (less easy going) and have started on the likes od Daniel Dennet and Christopher Hitchens as well. You will probably find me expressing my antitheist view on this blog so if you are of the God-Bothering persuasion you might not like me but hey ho.

Anyway I'm supposed to be working

Thus endeth the first Blog