I have become a statistic

I haven't blogged recently simply because my life has become boring, dull and I am completely fed up. My 6 month temp job ended on a high with a card, presents and a reference what more could I ask for? I started a new placement and it was fine for about a week until the bloody, evil, bane-of-my-life epilepsy once again reared its ugly head. I had 3 seizures within a week worrying the hell out of my partner and making me lose several days at work and of course loads of my earnings. One fit saw me collapsing on the bus to work and to my intense mortification the bus had to be stopped and an ambulance called. I was taken to A and E where after the usual barrage of painful blood tests, ECG's and monitoring I was told to go home, rest and see the GP. It's always the same which is why all my friends and family are told only to call an ambulance if I fit for a long time or stop breathing. It's utterly pointless and demeaning. Anyway long story short the GP thinks I am not able to handle working full time anymore (I'm 28 for Christ's sake!) and should work part time. I work out a few numbers and can manage on half hours although I wouldn't have much disposable cash at all but health is more important than cash so I spoke to my boss in the new temp job who agreed to let me work part time until she could find a new full time temp. This was all well and good but she found one almost instantly! I have been out of work for 6 weeks and despite applying for dozens of permanent part time jobs and meeting with several managers looking for temps nothing has come up. I'm out of cash, out of patience and my partner is getting twitchy about money. Hell I have a wedding to pay for and no income! I have rent to pay and nothing to give! I'm well and truly fed up. I have been selling my belongings on ebay to find cash but it's not worth anything. All my partner can see is the amount of money he is losing not the fact that I need support and maybe a bit of leeway until I'm back in work. I know I am selfish and he has his own not inconsiderable problems with work and life in general but he makes me feel like I'm just being lazy and trying to live off him for free. After nearly 10 years of working and paying my way he still thinks I'm just another gold digger. I have no intention of remaining unemployed in fact I'm bored, lonely and becoming depressed and I need to get back into the world.

Anyway rant over for today. I suppose with all this time on my hands I may even blog more often!